How to Interview Your Elderly Parent (12 Practical Tips)

Practical advice for interviewing an elderly parent about their life — how to set up, what to ask, and how to handle hard topics.

Before the interview

1. Send the questions a few days ahead. Most older adults need time to think — answers are richer when they've had a few days. 2. Pick a calm time of day. Mornings are usually best. 3. Limit to 30–45 minutes per session. Energy fades faster than you think. 4. Pick a quiet, well-lit room. Sit at an angle, not directly across — it feels less like an interrogation.

During the interview

5. Record everything (with permission). You'll forget the exact words; the recording is the point. 6. Ask one question, then wait. Long silences often produce the best answers — don't fill them. 7. Follow the emotion, not the script. If a question opens up something unexpected, follow it. 8. Don't correct facts. If they remember the year wrong, let it go. The memory is the truth here.

When hard topics come up

9. Let them lead. If they want to talk about a hard chapter, listen. If they don't, move on. 10. Be careful with grief. Asking about a deceased child or sibling can be the right thing — or not — depending on the day. Read the room. 11. Don't try to fix or rebut anything they say about you. This isn't the moment for that conversation. Just listen and record.

After the interview

12. Transcribe within a week. AltLife Heirloom AI auto-transcribes voice recordings, organizes them by date and theme, and stores them in a private family archive — so the work of preserving doesn't fall on you to do manually.