30 Questions to Ask a Dying Parent
When time is short, the questions change. You stop wanting more facts and start wanting what only they can give you: forgiveness, blessing, the truth, the things they want you to know. These 30 questions are ordered by emotional weight, not chronology, so you can stop at any point and still have what matters.
Start here — the ones that can't wait (1–10)
1. Is there anything you need to tell me?
2. Is there anything you need to hear from me?
3. Who do you need to forgive?
4. Who do you need forgiveness from?
5. What are you most proud of?
6. What are you most at peace with?
7. What are you still afraid of?
8. What do you want me to remember about who you really were?
9. What do you want my children to know about you?
10. What do you want at your funeral?
The story (11–20)
11. What do you want me to say at your funeral?
12. Is there a possession you want a specific person to have?
13. Is there a letter you want delivered after?
14. Is there a person you want me to thank for you?
15. Is there a person you don't want at the funeral?
16. Is there a debt you want settled?
17. Is there a secret you've kept that you want to release?
18. Is there a secret you want me to keep for you?
19. What was the happiest day of your life?
20. When were you most afraid?
The blessing (21–30)
21. What do you want to bless me with?
22. What do you want to bless my children with?
23. What do you want to bless yourself with?
24. What do you believe about what comes next?
25. What do you hope is true?
26. What do you want me to do in the first year after?
27. What do you want me to do in the first ten?
28. What's a song you want played?
29. What's the last thing you want me to say to you?
30. What's the last thing you want to say to me?
Frequently asked questions
What if they're too tired to talk?
AltLife works with very short recordings — 30 seconds is enough. Many families also record what the parent dictates and add their own reflection later, building a coherent archive over multiple short sessions.
Is it okay to record them?
Yes — with their consent. Most parents are deeply grateful that someone wants their voice preserved. AltLife stores recordings privately, encrypted, family-controlled.